Crazy Things About My Fella in 2018

1. Wishing to Prove that Not All Flight Attendants are ‘Bad Girls’

To begin with, there is no consensus that flight attendants are ‘bad girls’ or ‘bad boys’. Seriously, no research, no social norms, no stereotypes for that. There is simply nothing to prove.

2. His Data Collection Method

In relation to the first point, he did this by dating 1 (one) – yes, one attendant simply because his gut feeling says ‘she is a good girl’. One data isn’t enough to proof anything considering the number of flight attendants out there. And it’s also way too qualitative to even make a conclusion.

3. Going to Microsoft’s Tech-con using T-shirts

Actually, he was planning to do so. But I stopped him. Bless me.

4. Going to Business Conference without any Name Cards

And ended up using my identity to get in.

5. Making Contradictive Statements in 1 Minutes, Once in 5 Minutes Interval

00.30 – Make statement A

00.50 – Deny statement A

Repeat every 5 minutes

6. Improving Himself

By learning to cook chicken pasta, archery, papercraft, photography, making acrostic poetries all in one month.

7. Jumpstarted His Instagram Career

By posting stories of contemplation note usually found on 12 y.o. accounts

8. Restarted His Instagram Career in less than 6 months time from start time

Because he wishes to reset Instagram’s search suggestion algorithm, which keeps showing one Instagram account he doesn’t want to see (he actually wants to)

9. Doing several Install, Uninstall, and Reinstall for Dating Apps in His Phone

Day 1: Install

Day 2: Uninstall

Day 3: Reinstall

Repeat till the judgment day comes

10. Taking 30 Mins to Shower and Style His Hair Despite the Fact That He is 30 Mins Late Already and Everyone is Waiting for Him.

I mean, there are things named SaraSara Body Powder and Moving Rubber.

11. Calling Me on Phone for More Than 10 Times When I’m on My Final Hours of Surprising My Girlfriend’s Birthday

Thank God there’s a “Do Not Disturb” Feature on my phone.

12. Went All Rage and Pissed Off at Me

Because I made a non-acrostic poetry which apparently contained a fraction of his crush’s name, despite the fact that I don’t even know her crush and not connected anywhere.

13. Organised a Medical Visit for a Friend’s Parents Without Informing Them We are Coming

Of course we ended up getting turned back and cancelled the visit.

14. Admitted that He is a Close-Minded Person …

Also said LGBT is a disease while scientific research proved otherwise.

15. … Yet said His Girlfriend Must be ‘Open-Minded’

Because opposites completed each other right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Surely a close-minded person can fit well talking with an open-minded person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

16. Spoke in False Accent in a Room Full of People Who Actually Speaks that Accent

While reminding me not do to that 5 minutes before that happened.

17. Judging My Relationship Status by Labelling My Milestones with My Girlfriend

Maybe he is so eager to do so but has no relationship to begin with. But let’s not do that by bugging my girlfriend while we are on Christmas holiday.

18. Wanting to Join a Birthday Surprise

For someone he doesn’t even know who

19. Still Using Billabong Wallet He Has Been Using Since High School.

Luckily I have got him a replacement wallet just in time for the new year, new you occassion.

20. Gets Obssessed with ‘The Batman Who Laughs

This is actually kinda cool. Still crazy tho.

21. Actually Listened My Advice to Use a Comic Sans Font for DIY Christmas Card

Despite the fact that I was joking and nobody ever wants to use Comic Sans except for joke material.

22. Digging the Internet to Find His Crush’s Full Name

Also the photo of her from high school’s times. Anyway, he succeeded

23. Suddenly Got Hyped about Myer-Briggs Personality Types

Which I have told him about exactly 4 years ago and he gave 0% fuck about.

24. Asked Literally Everyone on Earth for Advice…

Even someone he just knew for 5 minutes (literally)

25. Then Decided Not to Listen to Everyone and ‘Followed His Heart’

Because your heart is always right. Go follow that, and please ignore any facts, logics, scientific evidence, researchs. Fuck them all.

26. Having the goals of ‘Making My Crush a Better Person’

… While his crush has no issue with her life whatsoever. How about we begin by ourselves first?

27. Making a Cheesy Joke to Prove that He is Sexually Mature

What is the best job in the salon?

Blow.

Blow Job.

28. Made Firm Statement ‘I do Not Believe in Love’

And yet still chasing his crush till this day.

29. Asking People ‘Should I Do This’?

Right after he has done it.

30. Can’t Sleep Well After Seeing Her Crush’s Cleavage

I couldn’t sleep well too if one day i see the Holy Grail.

31. Making Hypotese that His Crush is a Bad Girl

Because she has lots of party pictures on Instagram. Also, isn’t this contradicts point number 1?

32. Leaving Group Conference on Messenger because he needs a ‘Me Time’

But at the same time privately chatting everyone to ask for advice.

33. Calling Her Crush on the Phone Because She Hasn’t Replied His Text Yet

Despite the fact that they never converse by phone before.

34. Bought an Iphone 6s to Replace his Iphone SE

Aren’t they are in the same tier and have the same processor? Oh, bigger screen you said? My fella said he loved the SE because of its compactness. Oh well, people changed.

Despite That…

  • Just because these things are crazy, doesn’t mean they are wrong.
  • He is still my best friend.
  • My friends and I like him.
  • Everyone was, is, and will help him to be a better person.
  • I believe he will be a brand new guy in 2019.

Photo credits go to all the good people on Unsplash:

Nick Fewings, Freestocks.org, Marvin Meyer, Vishu R Nair, Ugur Akdemir, Zhen Hu, Tristan Billet, Neonbrand, Headway, Hanson Lu.

About asiaril

Tulisan saya adalah opini pribadi yang tidak memiliki kredibilitas apapun. Kerugian dalam bentuk apapun yang timbul akibat membaca tulisan saya (misalnya buang buang waktu) sepenuhnya menjadi tanggung jawab anda. Apabila anda tidak suka dengan karya saya, janganlah marah kepada saya, namun pukullah layar komputer anda dengan linggis.

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