7 Misteri Romansa Generasi Milenial

Dari tahun ke tahun muncul istilah istilah baru seperti teman tapi mesra, hubungan tanpa status, pemberi harapan palsu (PHP), baper, ngarep, dan istilah-istilah lain untuk menggambarkan kondisi romansa seseorang yang kurang dari ideal.

Populasi orang-orang tuna asmara, alias jomblo ngenes (jones) juga semakin terlihat, meskipun saya tidak tahu apakah jumlahnya memang meningkat atau dulu mereka tidak terekspos sebelum adanya teknologi seperti forum dan online game.

Namun demikian, dengan kemajuan teknologi serta pengetahuan yang semakin menyebar luas, bukankah hubungan romansa, terutama untuk generasi muda, semakin berjalan mulus?

1. Teknologi membantu komunikasi (Video Chat, Voice Note, etc).

Ini poin yang sangat klise sekali. Dibahas di berbagai bidang studi bahwa teknologi mendekatkan kita dari yang jauh. Hal-hal yang dulu mustahil dilakukan, seperti komunikasi instant jarak jauh sekarang sudah menjadi hal yang biasa. Namun demikian, long distance relationship (LDR) tetap menjadi hal yang sulit dilewati. Saya sendiri termasuk golongan yang tidak percaya bahwa LDR bisa dilakukan sukses.

Apakah ini karena kita manusia masih membutuhkan cinta dalam bentuk kontak fisik? Apakah memang teknologi malah menjauhkan yang dekat?

photo of man in white dress shirt holding phone near window
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2. Lebih banyak topik pembicaraan.

Saya ingin menyebut globalisasi, tapi sepertinya terlalu klise. Tapi bukankah faktanya memang kita semakin hari semakin terbuka secara pikiran dan hati? Kalau dulu pasangan hanya bisa membicarakan tentang “kamu, orang itu, dan aku”, sekarang kita bisa membicarakan hal-hal di belahan dunia lain, kejadian luar biasa yang teman kita gosipkan di grup Whatsapp, atau bahkan gosip dari orang asing yang muncul di feed sosial media.

Kalau satu topik tidak cocok dibicarakan dengan pasangan, pasti ada topik lain yang lebih cocok. Pilihan topik tiada habisnya.

Jadi bukankah tidak ada alasan “tidak ada bahan pembicaraan”?

two people in a discussion with mobile phones
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

3. Banyaknya panduan dan pengembangan diri.

Jumlah konten baru di media online maupun cetak bertambah dengan pesat setiap harinya (bahasa inggris kerennya ‘exponential‘). Tentunya tidak semuanya merupakan informasi hoax atau sekedar lucu lucuan.

Banyak konten yang memberikan informasi pengembangan diri, serta panduan dalam memulai maupun membina hubungan. Ada yang dalam bentuk artikel seperti Thought Catalog , video, sampai kelas kursus seperti Loveable Lady  dan Hitman System  (yang akan saya review di artikel lainnya).

Jadi bukankah seharusnya:

  • Orang bisa mempersiapkan diri sebaik baiknya untuk memulai hubungan
  • Orang bisa mempersiapkan diri untuk menjalin hubungan
  • Orang bisa mengevaluasi kapabilitas diri sendiri
  • Orang bisa membuat keputusan yang tepat dalam memilih

Atau semua itu tidak penting karena cinta itu buta?

background beverage book breakfast
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

4. Banyaknya informasi psikologi dan kepribadian.

Manusia dari hari kehari memang makin sulit dimengerti, karena berbagai macam hal baru dan pandangan baru yang muncul. Namun demikian pula dengan ilmu pengetahuan. Jaman dulu, psikologi memang merupakan bidang studi yang rumit dan sering diperdebatkan. Namun sekarang, ilmu psikologi hadir dalam informasi yang sangat praktikal dan cukup sederhana.

Sekarang, tes online tersedia untuk mengklasifikasikan jenis kepribadian kamu atau pasangan kamu. Meskipun terkadang dinilai terlalu mengeneralisasi, metode Myer Briggs (MBTI) seharusnya lebih dari cukup untuk membantu kamu menilai kompatibilitas dengan pasangan.

Masih belum cukup? Preferensi bahasa cinta (Language of Love) juga bisa dengan mudah dicari tahu dengan tes online.

Jadi dengan ilmu-ilmu sederhana psikologi tersebut, seharusnya mudah bagi kamu untuk menerawang kecocokan dengan pasangan. Tidak ada alasan bilang “baru sadar ternyata tidak cocok sama dia”.

adult dark depressed face
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

5. Metode-metode conflict resolution.

Sama seperti poin keempat, di jaman sekarang banyak pelajaran tentang menyelesaikan konflik yang baik. Bahkan bila masih memiliki kesulitan, banyak sekali grup sosial yang bisa membantu menyelesaikan konflik antar pasangan. Kelompok dari religius sampai non-religius serta teman-teman yang lulus dari jurusan psikologi.

man couple people woman
Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

6. Tidak adanya perjodohan (berarti pilih sendiri).

Dulu memang lumrah untuk dijodohkan, karena mungkin network tidak seluas sekarang. Akibatnya, mungkin berujung dengan orang yang tidak tepat.

Namun sekarang, sangat langka adanya orang yang masih dijodohkan. Semuanya merupakan pilihan sendiri. Bertanggung jawab pada pilihan sendiri, jadi bila hubungan bermasalah pantaskah menyalahkan orang lain?

Apabila memang kurang pilihan sehingga terpaksa memilih orang yang kurang tepat? Muncul lagi pertanyaan di poin ketujuh!

food healthy people woman
Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

7. Luasnya network berarti pilihan lebih luas.

Dulu memang tidak banyak cara untuk mencari calon pasangan. Mungkin di kampus, sekolah, tempat kerja, dikenalkan teman atau kerabat, dan mentok-mentok paling ekstrim adalah menggunakan biro jodoh.

Yang berarti, mungkin saja pilihan akhir yang dinikahi belum tentu sesuai dengan kriteria yang diatur di awal.

Namun di jaman sekarang, dengan tingginya kegiatan sosial, sosial media, serta online dating yang bertebaran, sangat mudah untuk memperluas koneksi dan mempertemukan dua orang yang sebenarnya cocok satu sama lain.

Online dating pun bukan lagi menjadi hal mewah yang harus berbayar seperti 5 tahun lalu. Banyak online dating gratis yang cukup berkualitas, seperti Tinder dan Paktor.

Jadi, bagaimana mungkin ada yang beralasan “Belum menemukan yang tepat”?

selfie family generation father
Photo by Creative Vix on Pexels.com
Adrian Siaril
Adrian Siaril

The boss

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